Brain Explosion

Well... brain is in overdrive, overload, overflow, synaptic shock, meltdown.... all those things. I've got to direct a scene tomorrow, just the one (so why am I complaining?!), but I'm pretty scared. I can't concentrate because I want to make love properly to that wonderful man again.

Contemplating whether the catch 22 is the impending career doom?! See-sawing between faith that I underestimate my preparation and fear that I am hours away from public humiliation... yet fear isn't breeding concentration. I just want to drink beer and dance around the house.

The dusk light is beautiful outside. I might step out onto the balcony. Friend gave me some scooby-fun a few weeks ago and I'm enjoying the ritual of having a joint here and there. But that's super naughty! But isn't it a little luxury in my totally unbalanced worklife? How to resist?!! Speaking of which, how to fend off thoughts of unparalleled sexual desire for my eternally special man friend....? Golly gosh the brain changes when one realises that they might actually be falling in love.

Furthermore, regarding the dirty thirties; I have arrived.