Friday Night

Friday night, and I'm happily at home. Had invitation to go out, but declined. Tired, and don't feel I need social stimulation. 2013 has been the year of being more aware of my limits.

So, I think I missed posting last night. Don't be alarmed. Just stayed up too late, and forgot.

The week has turned around. I feel better. No miracles or breaking news, just better. I've been doing more exercise, eating better, and taking the pressure off myself, almost completely. So, I'm okay.

Goodnight, dear humans! 

Day 3

Almost missed posting tonight, due to a dinner engagement. But here I am, returning because it feels like the right thing to do.
I did miss yoga this morning. But that little failure aside, I was conscious of my liver today - and tried to look after it. Hoping it's easier to look after than my brain! I didn't have a second coffee. I didn't have dairy products. I did have a bit of wine and a tiny bit of chocolate at my friend's house tonight; but far less than I normally would.
Sorry to bore you with all these perfunctory details of my diet and day to day habits! But if tracking them leads to some discoveries, I want to record them here. Stay tuned.
My brain is slowly nudging around the edges of the notion of a new career direction. I'm going to let it percolate for another few months, but at least I have an alternate option I'm considering. Still hoping I don't have to use it. I do love my job and want to keep doing it.

Oh, and I've embarked on a mass decluttering. If I'm too unmotivated to do any actual work, then the next best achievement must be getting rid of some crap and minimising general 'stuff' around me. Hope so.

Day 2

So. Not much of a day. But I'm still here. As per my pledge, I am writing another paragraph.

I got up late. Managed to do yoga at home. I regularly fantasise about having a home Ashtanga practice. Today while I was doing baby steps of the Ashtanga sequence, I thought that perhaps I have to commit to life. Despite all my disappointments and sense of failure, I have to choose to live. Even if I don't make the most of my life, achieve nothing career-wise from hereon, or never have children; I should at least try to stay alive and be healthy.

After yoga I was drawn to the bookshelf, to my flatmate's tome of Chinese/Nutritional Health: Healing With Wholefoods. Seemed fitting to look up 'Depression' in the index.

Was reminded that one's liver function is closely linked to mood and mental state. So, at the very least, I should attempt to look after my liver better, in the hope of remedying my brain difficulties. So today I didn't have a second coffee.

Yesterday while swimming I also thought about studying psychology, towards a new career as a Psychologist. It would be a long road, but maybe something that I will look at. But I'm secretly hoping my chosen career will sort itself out and become more fruitful ASAP. But my faith in such progress is dwindling day by day. And I'm questioning whether I'm even mentally fit to work.

Anyway, that's more than a paragraph. I'm signing off now. Thought about making roast chicken for dinner. Maybe I should do that.

Back

It's been a long time between posts.
This evening while swimming, I thought perhaps writing regularly again will help me through what has turned in to an extended funk.
I will try to write a paragraph each night. I hope through writing I feel better and find some solutions.