in the quest not to think...

I just sat down to start a post, as it's been a while. Recently I've thought and felt a lot of things that I feel inclined to write about, in an effort towards 'processing'.

But unusually I don't feel inclined to write anything, even though I've got a great deal I could express.

I've been trying very hard to not to over-analyse, over-think, or over-feel lately. I'm trying to stay in the present.

But earlier this week I had a lovely evening with TKO. I was finally at ease, at my best, and open with him. I enjoyed him for who he is - the witty, individual thinker, generous hearted, child-like spirited dashing fellow he is.

Why was I looking for the bad in the first few months I was with him? I can't look back now. I shouldn't analyse the past. I've got to live now.

But I still like him. I am still drawn to him. A stranger in the bottle shop and a busker on the street noted our chemistry. But there's nothing more I can do. The only thing I can do is be open hearted. I will continue to be honest.

I will try not to think. I will simply and happily, live.