Meltdown Report

Awake in middle of night. Again. Managed to sleep for 2.5hrs after going to bed early to look after myself rather than my work obligations.

I've been trying to analyse why I had such a major meltdown today; why did work stress which I mostly can handle, set me off?

I looked back to the last time I recall having such a public meltdown and had to cancel commitments, to look for a pattern. This is what I deduced:

When work stress collides with personal relationship stress I'm pushed to the edge. When this situation is underpinned by ongoing money and life failure stress, I'm a goner.

So there's the algorithm. Take one Ms OK, submerge in significant workload with multiple simultaneous deadlines, add one week-old feeling of abandonment, double boil over pre-prepared sense of life failure and KABOOM!! MELTDOWN!!

The only pleasantness in this emotional stress I'm riding out is that I've had the Bill Withers song Lovely Day in my head for the last 24hours.

I need a miracle to fix my life and work situation. I also perhaps need a man who looks after me a bit better. Wonder when I'll have opportunity to discuss that with him? Can I prevent another meltdown while my heart's detained in an offshore detention centre?