Bit of a turnaround!

After having a cuppa with an 88 year-old woman today I've decided I like life and don't want to die early.

So I'm googling cancer prevention. Interesting stuff!

- iBlog, therefore iAm

Unbelievable

Last night I finally spoke to SMF or guy formerly known as such... The reveal was not what I was expecting at all. I had given him an impression, he'd made assumptions and I had too (obviously). I've learnt a lesson about torturing myself through conclusions drawn about communicative use of technology (or lack thereof). The telcos aren't doing anything to prevent these kind of heartbreaking mishaps, so we have to look after ourselves. I also learnt a lesson about instincts and trust.

Despite one of our wonderful long chats and feeling subsequently emancipated, I'm not nominating him for Sainthood or Bachelor of the Year. There's still some resolving to be done but the ice is thawing and blizzard calming down.

Un-fucking-believable.

- iBlog, therefore iAm

Mini Post 004

Not a bad day all in all... A day of domesticity plus my new habit of swimming... And yet despite a lot of productivity, earnest looking after of self and so on... I still didn't manage to do the washing up.

Gotta get a dishwasher.


- iBlog, therefore iAm

Mini Post 003

Thank GOD for the Chaser lads. In the pits of despair tonight, they restored my enjoyment of life, interest in men and caused me to laugh OUT LOUD!


- iBlog, therefore iAm

Letter to You

Dear person I used to refer to as BG or SMF,

Tonight the thought of you is making me cry. I'm crippled emotionally to the extent I can't focus or do things I want to do, like cook dinner. I'm so churned up inside that I actually want to deal with it and you right now; to stop my wondering, to halt or resolve my disappointment through an emotional eruption or a nail hammered through my wrist. I'm in a mood for confrontation, I can barely wait any longer to hear sweet soothing or ripping harsh words. I just want to know what I mean to you. Of course I desperately don't want it to be 'nothing' and there to be some other (however lame) excuse for your non-communication and lack of care. But the abandonment is killing me. My confidence is crushed. And the moments from the past of feeling totally at peace with our 'friendship' and buoyed by your company have almost completely gone... I don't know what's real anymore and I really want to know the truth, even if it's hurtful (I think). I fear you've deceived me. I don't want to hide behind an email or SMS. I want something real. I want to call you even though I know I shouldn't. What can I do? What should I do? Nothing?!

Love and best wishes from the person you used to laugh with and say nice things to.

xx ms ok

Homecoming

Whenever I go away I tend to gather thoughts of what I'm going to do upon returning home. It's not homesickness (though I nearly forfeited sightseeing today in my desire to get an earlier flight home); I think it's a love of homemaking and an ongoing quest to get more out of life.

So, having been on a little venture for the last 4 days, I of course have updated plans for my day-to-day life. Here are some of them:

• swim every second day for at least 6 weeks, then adjust health regime if necessary.
• move my Bouganvillea to a better position on balcony, buy and feed it with potash and pray for summer flowers!
• visit the Kinesiologist, as soon as I can financially afford it. Seeking man-peace outcomes and a less itchy scalp.
• make a much more concerted effort to prepare better meals for myself and re-embrace my enjoyment of cooking.
• declutter my wardrobe, clean the windows (apparently need it after 3 years) and relieve the bathroom of its mildew.
• continue to develop my new habits of tracking my time and money spent and trying to meet income targets.
• read on the couch more, rather than bed.
• admonish the iPhone from the bedroom at all times!
• try to counter accumulation of clothes on the floor.
• continue this readathon thing I've started, and not be deterred having blown the second book's deadline (it's dense with information and non-narrative, so I'm struggling a little...)



- iBlog, therefore iAm

Mini Post 002

A nasal saline douche can be the poor man's seaside holiday.


- iBlog, therefore iAm

Mini Post 001

Bought a new hairdryer, have a stay of electrocution.


- iBlog, therefore iAm