Too Late

It's too late to start again... I chose this path long ago and thus have made life difficult for myself, as my Grandma might say.

My confidence and drive is historically low. I've got to fix my cash-flow and career and yet a holiday is my greatest desire.

I've trapped myself. Maybe the problem has always been that I don't like life enough to warrant doing a shit job just to have money to keep on living.

I'm catastrophising and predicting that the future will be just as shit if not shitter than the present. In my recent and continuing house move I must have misplaced my faith.

31 feels too late to start again and even if I could or would, what really would I do differently? I don't have a backup plan. I've fucked my own life and fell into my own laid trap. I can't see any way out other than a miracle occurring.