Key Criteria

Answering and addressing selection criteria has got to be one of the nuttiest constructs of human modernity. Facing such a stupid task tonight I feel tempted to just write:

1.1 Can do.
1.2 Yup, got it.
1.3 Can do too!
1.4 Can't believe you asked me this, if I can use the internet and find this job vacancy, then I can likely perform this basic function too!
1.5 Monkeys!

Wish me luck, I've only got 2 hours to finish the fucker. Irony is I actually think the job would be great and mentally stimulating, that is if I survive the tedium of the actual application...