Conflict

My car and I aren't friends anymore. I can't explain why. Perhaps its because the dear beast has humiliated me one too many times. I bruise easily.

I wonder if my car hadn't fucked me around today whether I would've maintained a better mood? My body is beset by allergies. My life is challenged by cash-flow. My mind mostly does well despite the circumstances but tonight I'm longing for sleep that disconnects me from reality. I'm counting on that miracle that often happens, where a new day brings optimism and hope. Clocking off on this one.

Aside from the car, the other relationship that is affecting me greatly at the moment is TKO. It's all going pretty well but I'm quietly terrified he'll get sick of me, decide I'm not right for him and so on... There's nothing I can do to prevent this if it's going to happen but I don't like the uneasy feeling... I guess it's lack of faith, I guess it's my MO since 1995, I guess it's just me. Time to stop mulling over my problems and read about how we became so bloody evolved in the first place. I'm reading 'guns, germs and steel' by Jared Diamond at present. I might offer to write a followup homage, perhaps titled 'cars, men and malaise'.