Just When You Think You're Coming Back From Rock Bottom

Late this afternoon I thought things might just start getting better... I had an inspiring chat with an unlikely motivator and felt my zest for work and life resurface. Then I got a call from an employer saying more work is on the way. See, things do get better?!

Then I just snapped and yelled at my dearest Mum. I must be messed up at the moment. She wanted to discuss money and possible irrational decisions and I wasn't emotionally prepared for it. Fuck it.

I'm going to call her back as soon as I feel certain I will not snap. Best to perhaps stay eerily and offensively silent... I don't want to do that either...

In other news, SMF isn't so special anymore. I'm dealing with feeling abandoned, rejected, embarassed, regretful, etc. The rest of my life isn't going that well either. And tonight I'm kind of breaking the liver cleansing diet that I've so impressively stuck to... But fuck, I deserve to drink the beer that's already in my fridge when all this shit is going on.