Haircut

I had my haircut after enduring a period of long hair. I'm not a good wearer of long hair. This'll be quick post whilst I backup my computer. Having my laptop die would just be the icing on my delicate mood. I've decided that all that has happened is that faith has been replaced by fear.

I want to step off this emotional rollercoaster (that's sticking pretty close to the ground at any rate) and go to bed to read books for a week or so. Or a glorious tropical holiday might lift my mood.

This afternoon I started a post titled 'Competition' that I accidentally deleted. It was about the apparently highly-competitive industry I work in. I realised that I possess above average resilience. I've had a lot of career knock-set-backs. I just endure the disappointment and eventually it passes. After a major high of a career reward a week ago, I had two significant disappointments today. But I did get my haircut. Had to be done.

Man-friend isn't helping my mood either. That is definitely where fear has replaced faith and I have no idea of whether I'm in for a good or bad or indifferent turn motivated by his next move. I don't like this feeling of being an emotional victim of others' behaviours, decisions, etc. My horoscope promised extraordinary career highs this month and over the next eight years. So I've decided to not read horoscopes anymore. I'm embarassed that I'm so interested in what they say. Hasn't aided my mood anyway, or has it? Have I stayed just below the surface and not plummeted further into the depressive depths because the horoscopes have giving me faith that good news is on it's way?

I'm bored by myself. Sorry for sharing it around. I guess the main hope at the moment is based on the fact that I've had a great and content year and a half... It's just weather. But will you just come and shag me man-friend? Put me out of my misery please!