Process & Detox

In almost biblical fashion, I have resolved to attempt an earnest detox this Easter long weekend. I am hoping that after the third day, I will ascend into health heaven.

I look after myself reasonably well, but my little feeble liver and sluggish lymphatic system need a service. It's a Grand Prix pitstop, but without the horrendous noise and nerd-bogan-auto-tourists.

So, let's see how I feel on Sunday... maybe when Mary Magdelene approaches my detox cave she will still weep... I could be catastrophising but i'm not looking forward to caffiene withdrawal and crossing my fingers toxin release is relatively painless. I'm proud of myself that I haven't committed to anything other than health this weekend. I have a moderate amount of to-do's on my list, but sleep, rest and detox will be highest on my agenda. I'm looking forward to 4 days in elective solitary confinement.

Which brings me to the fact that I'm quasi-missing SMF...

I've been trying to work out what's really going on, in the scenario I might have misinterpreted things... but when I look at the physical evidence, how is that possible?

I've been trying to access some kind of instinct that advises whether I'm investing in inevitable disappointment or have met 'the one'; now being the peaceful pre-dawn of a healthy long-term relationship.

He disappears now and again; in theory that's totally cool; in practice it throws open all the lion gates in my brain colosseum. It causes me to live in the past, though not quite as far back as the Roman empire.

A friend who's just been through a breakup said that she and her ex have decided on a regular, scheduled catchup. A weekly social outing and emotional debrief. Brilliant idea, but SMF and I like spontaneity and are not routine types. I like the concept though, it takes the anxiety out of an ambiguous relationship phase such as I'm in.

I want to chat to SMF, hear his syrupy voice and amusing news.

He could be in sad anti-social mode and my instinct is to find out if that's the case and soothe him if it is...

And for me, the odd comforting cuddle as I undergo this Easter detox or a hand to hold as I watch my work go to air on tv tomorrow night would be lovely... But as The Go-Betweens said: "I'm Allright".

-- Posted from bed, detox almost begun...