Loss

A day of loss. The EX won't be having a baby soon after all. So incredibly sad. Being his formerly abandoned twin I know what heartache he is experiencing. I felt it in my veins immediately. I can see and hear him crying and curling up in the bed.

Paling in comparison, I've been abandoned by the Boy Genius it seems. What did I do? What was it I said? Why have the curtains fallen? Is this an intermission, the scripted end of the play or an embarrassing error that must stop the show? The lead actor has forgotten their words. Did I say the wrong thing? I wait for his reply, knowing that it's not right to want it so badly and knowing that I must be way back in his queue of foremost thoughts; unworthy of a response for some reason.

Miscarriage is unfair. It doesn't make sense, particularly when it happens mid-term. Abandonment is unfair. It doesn't make sense, particularly when it happens after you've exchanged a taste of your soul with someone.

Life goes on. Again I'm surviving and rolling with the punches.


DAILY STATS @ 5pm:
Coffee = 3 Fruit = 2 Veges = 1.5 Exercise = nil Regrets = 3 monte carlo biscuits