I can do better than that.
I embraced my compassionate intuition and reached out to the BG. He hasn't been feeling very good. No response yet. No worries. I care about him and want to know he's okay, but I can't fall into the trap of saving him. Saving men is my instinct. I like a man I can care for but I've got to be so mindful of getting absorbed into someone else's psyche. Of course the usual questions have arisen; whether I've been too keen or divulged too much about myself? I had to do it though. I had to reach out to him. He has enough integrity to respond in due course though, I know that. I hope he's okay.
Last night a few things made me realise that I've got a much better self-worth these days; a very friendly almost familial SMS exchange with the EX; thoughts of him cuddling his pregnant partner, and then I danced exuberantly after ascertaining that all the good-looking men at the gathering were taken.... I realised as I was dancing that I'm okay with rejection. Rejection isn't rejection, that's too harsh an interpretation. I could be more desirable as a woman but I've got some base no-name level of confidence that I'm now not too swayed by others opinions. Of course I may reassess this self-belief if in 5 years time no one has seemed interested in signing up for a lifetime of cuddles with me, but for now I'm okay. I'm doing fine. I'm not going to hate myself for expressing my care to the BG. Life goes on and I've got a liver to detox.
I embraced my compassionate intuition and reached out to the BG. He hasn't been feeling very good. No response yet. No worries. I care about him and want to know he's okay, but I can't fall into the trap of saving him. Saving men is my instinct. I like a man I can care for but I've got to be so mindful of getting absorbed into someone else's psyche. Of course the usual questions have arisen; whether I've been too keen or divulged too much about myself? I had to do it though. I had to reach out to him. He has enough integrity to respond in due course though, I know that. I hope he's okay.
Last night a few things made me realise that I've got a much better self-worth these days; a very friendly almost familial SMS exchange with the EX; thoughts of him cuddling his pregnant partner, and then I danced exuberantly after ascertaining that all the good-looking men at the gathering were taken.... I realised as I was dancing that I'm okay with rejection. Rejection isn't rejection, that's too harsh an interpretation. I could be more desirable as a woman but I've got some base no-name level of confidence that I'm now not too swayed by others opinions. Of course I may reassess this self-belief if in 5 years time no one has seemed interested in signing up for a lifetime of cuddles with me, but for now I'm okay. I'm doing fine. I'm not going to hate myself for expressing my care to the BG. Life goes on and I've got a liver to detox.
