Simple Pleasures

I just read a wonderful story on the fabulous BBC news site which is my home page. Ah! It makes the heart swell with warm fuzzies - that's what life's about, non?

I love riding my bike on summer nights, even when I have no money. As long as I could swim everyday, I think i'd cope being homeless or worse off.

I need to find confidence in myself that is not the result of approval from friends, men or career moves. Where do I find such confidence? I feel better about things today, probably because I shagged a very friendly man last night. Not my type at all but I'm prepared to forge a friendship. Me and my thirty-something female friends are like cavewomen, needing to throw a man on the bed (or be thrown on one), just to ward off insanity. It's ridiculous and puts one at the mercy of male behaviour and Venus Lady Traps, as per the previous few posts. But it is a much needed confidence boost. I'm on a hunt to find confidence in other places and forms - a tidy house? Healthy plants? Swimming? It's a complete mystery to me how one can attain self-esteem that is reasonably solid without gold star stamps being received. What would I do if no-one liked me? What is wrong with deriving confidence from the effect you have on others anyway? What is confidence? Let us open the handy dictionary. In this usage the definition is:

"a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities" and the origin is late Middle English : from Latin confidentia, from confidere ‘have full trust’.

So I need to trust myself, that's sounding a little more attainable. I will sleep on it and trust in myself that I will tackle my domestic chaos on the morrow.