Crisis of Confidence

I've supposedly had a breakthrough in my career. Something I arguably should have done several years ago. Yet, when the going gets good, the brain turns bad. Crisis of confidence. Thoughts of failure, doom, poverty... being publicly confronted about my delusion of career prospects. Money is a depression trigger for me. I have none (again). Hating myself for having got into such a fiscal poo again. My friend said at the time of the last flip-out that I needed to remove the triggers that set me off. She was referring to my ex-partner and I have certainly acted on that advice and am having far less contact with him and am feeling better for it (also helps that I have BOI on the brain and am devising ways to seduce him and contemplating whether the feeling is mutual or not). Regarding triggers, a lack of money or useful assets (such as a car or shoes or a digital camera) inevitably sets me off. I have to prevent this happening. It's ridiculous. But at this point in time I can do very little about it. I need to make a list of things to think about or do when my mind takes a dive. My Mum said it's a choice and I just need to stop thinking such negative thoughts. Thanks to my whizzbang computer (things to be grateful for #43) Mum had the dubious bonus of witnessing my despair via webcam. However, after a coincidental phonecall (no webcam) from an unwavering supporter, I am feeling better in this moment.