Another Freak-Out

They don't like me. I said the wrong thing. I'm a suck. I better suck eggs. When will I accept that I'm a failure? Something in me is still fighting for it. Keeping me awake at night. Stopping me jumping off bridges, limiting sleeping tablets to sensible doses. Modern thought and therapy says accept unhappy feelings and take valued direction. Alrighty then.  I want my life and thoughts simplified, purified, I want to fall through a sieve. I want to be a mermaid, or maybe a simple fish would be better; less likely to have personality crises or existential issues. Tomorrow I will live like a fish and swim through the day. I feel like I'm constantly letting myself down.