1979-2008

Well, sometimes i admittedly do get affected by suicides, perhaps more than the average punter, but for some reason Heath Ledger's tragic death, which was probably more accident than suicide, is having a strange effect on me. Let me elaborate on the phrase 'strange effect':

We were born in the same year. Whenever i see a person's lifetime listed as 1979-year of death, it seems to affect me profoundly, as though it could be me.

One of the sleeping tablets he took was Stillnox, which i was prescribed but too fearful to take a few weeks back (see previous post). Ledger's recent quotes about his apparent insomnia and over-active brain rang very loud bells in mine, and although my case was perhaps not as protracted as his, i certainly empathised. I had also resorted to cocktailing medication in a desperate reach for sleep. Lucky i was lucky. I thought my body's reaction was pretty extreme, but at least i am alive.

I don't believe he wanted to die, but rather was prepared to play the edge, like so many of us for whom the concept of suicide is not outside the realm of possibility.

May he rest peacefully.